Horrid Pie

I probably bite off more than I could chew.

Hungry once but now sick in the tummy

by that horrid pie that was

just so delicious.

Baked with 6 core ingredients

the pie was formed,

with only a tiny dash off pepper for the kick

in my face.

The oven was grinding my teeth down

and churning my gut as I waited.

Waited.

Got to eat it while it’s hot.

It should have been a sign when a drop of saliva

sizzled into nothingness on the pan.

But I dug in so deep so fast as if I used a shovel.

Burned my fingers. Burned my tongue.

And now I’m sick.

I thought you were the doctor but you were a

“Phoney!” in disguise.

I vomited and all you did was inch away

as slow as the winds in a hurricane

and didn’t even bother saying goodbye.

I am your prisoner

Chit chat chit chat…

Maybe I’ve talked too much.

Maybe you’ve talked too little.

Maybe you don’t want to speak at all.

Sing. Louder. Higher.

I hate that cord.

Let’s redefine it.

“No, it was meant to be written this way.”

Look at me.

My eyes are red with your tears and anger that hide the

jealousy that doesn’t exist.

I imprison you with chains that are my hands and they clutch

tightly to your face.

Look at me.

I’m sorry.

“I’m sorry.”

Echo is a verbal exchange of a dance

that we know by heart.

We have spoken too much

but it is never enough.

I Love you.

“I Love you.”

Our foreheads pressed against the other

but I feel beyond the physical.

I was sure, there and then,

I am your prisoner.

Drink Up!

Never been happier for color vision;

never been happier for coloring in a bowl

for it represents regaining life or the lack thereof.

And I've never been so glad for pain.

A day ago, sight was depressing

The moon mocked, the stars gossiped, the

bed disapproved, the table reminded, the food

stung, the drinks smug, the pen whispered,

the paper scorn, the people bled.

And I wept.

And I wept

because I needed fluids that sweat won’t cut.

I wept because of the act that I did, that I

consciously did, that was common and normal and

perfect in almost every other context than what I was in.

I need a drink.

My lips were cracking but I couldn’t care less.

My pair seemed to be fissuring as I was careless.

So hydrated before with his drink yet now so desiccated.

Thank god for water.

Yes, thank God.

I have no religion but I prayed.

Desperate? Yes.

The only things that got me through was his faith with me

and my faith in Him.

I pled for my ancestors to look over me and I saw no angels

with wings but I’m glad they did.

Of course, this could all be in my head.

But if anyone is up there, here is a toast.

Love you, thank you and let’s drink up!

Oh yes, make it red wine please.

My Heart

My heart flutters.

Not like a dainty butterfly,

but like a buzzing humming bird.

It’s so obsessive it’s irritating.

Yet it keeps me afloat as I taste the sweet

bitterness of life,

as I wonder beyond the blue openness

and set my sights nowhere.

My heart pounds.

Not like acts of pent up emotions,

but like a covetous husband with the rhythm of ardor.

It’s so possessive it bruises me.

Yet it keeps me grounded as I taste the passionate

acidity of love,

as I wonder beyond the red openness

and set my soul nowhere else.

My heart skips.

Not like the rational lady I try to show,

but like the silly child he brings out.

My heart bares.

Not like the insecure girl I try to hide,

but like the brave woman he sees.

My heart loves

because of him.

My heart loves

because of what he is.

My heart loves

because of what he does.

My heart loves

because of how he loves me.

Pushing buttons

Stop pushing my button-

my belly button.

It belongs to me.

Have you forgotten?

You remember the time when

it once connected us.

We shared a cord that

wrapped and strangled as I gasp.

It was snipped and we cried;

You, tears of joy.

I, tears of loss.

And to the womb I waved goodbye.

For a good decade, you held my hand

and it connected us.

We shared a bond that

made us smile and laugh and smile again.

It was relaxed and we were unaware;

You, busy with life.

I, busy planning life.

And out of your protection, the dangers I bare.

Twenty years went by so soon; too soon.

and it alerted us.

But we shared a tie that

remains even if either one was on the moon.

It was invisible and we lost sight;

You, fear of loss.

I, fear of captivity.

And I struggle hard from the restrains you hold tight.

You there! Hey! Stop pushing my button!

My belly button.

Proof of our relations.

On common ground we stand, all is forgiven.

Foreign

It's squirming in my tummy.

Revolting little brat!

I clobber it with fists of fury

to remove the regret.

The constant reminder of his face

resides deep inside.

It sickens me that his residue, his waste

is filling me tight.

What was I thinking?

My brain clearly on a break

and it took over with speed of lightning,

laughing at my sake.

A moment of carelessness, that

was it.

Our eyes, we met.

Church bells ring.

I punched it hard. Get out!

Get out!

The promises I vowed,

now doubt

but it’s all too late.

Its life; my life.

No time to wait.

I dive.

Like quicksand, it consumes me whole.

It screams in my ears; louder as it grows.

It clouds my head with unique frequencies.

Never such a phenomenon. What trickery is this?

If only I knew how to stop the love.

Bitch slapped

At first i was "alright"
And then I was "nehs"
But then I kept to my promise
And you bitch slapped me in the face.

Sure I don't need it now
It's not a life threatening want
But still I want you to want me
And besides, it's loads of fun.

But yea you turned me down
Two freaking times in fact
Once is embarrassing
But it piled up and stacked.

It's a bitch slap across my face
A bee sting on my dimple
Bear claw marks lay on my cheeks
As I began to whimper.

A sensitive beat root of a head
Pigmentation forming
Hot and searing from the centre
And tears streaming and pouring.

It was a bitch slap across my face.

"WE" was supposed to end later

I used to show off my emotions
whenever I deem fit
to let the others know
if I'm angry, sad or elate.
But this time it's different;
I'm keeping them to myself.
I'm bottling up my emotions
and leaving them on the shelf.

It's because of the embarrassment.
I don't want others to know
so they won't see the shame
that now I do own.
I've failed in this aspect
though it ain't all my fault.
But I can not be the bitch
So my mind's doing somersaults.
Cause you ain't some random one,
I picked up from elsewhere
but a sister of a dear friend
that's great beyond compare.

I can picture the image: the scene
of how it all went down;
your parents giving in
after seeing your slightest frown.
You pleading hard and whining.
Your parents on the couch
and they caved in to princess,
that I can vouch.
They said, "Send her a message
to inform her of this,"
and you ran happily to your room,
with your face gleaming bliss.

So you ended our relationship
with a simple text,
Blaming nothing of the universe
but saying it was stress.
You are bound to face it, honey,
whether you like it or not.
You are an adult taking examinations,
Not a baby in a cot.
It was taxing on me too-
your body full of medication
but it was certainly lacking in perseverance,
determination and dedication.

So we stopped our partnership
before it reached its term.
2 sessions more and probably,
this sadness I wouldn't learn.
Still, I'm glad it's over now
and best of luck to you.
I hope you buckle up real hard
before your time is due.

A Close OSAR Freshie Family

At first there were fourteen-

5 guys, 9 girls in a team.

All seemed normal, not the least bonkers,

oh god how wrong we were!

We had skit IC Vanessa,

the wushu warrior of OSAR.

Push her buttons if you dare,

but consequences alone you shall bear.

Michelle was great at packing

and, to others, apparently slacking.

But still she is, lucky as can be

to have been allocated Hall 3.

OSAR even had Sailormoon

as Greg popped out as a cartoon.

We laughed out loud to his demise

when his yue liang zao xia while he tried.

Charlene was ever cute and bubbly

Whose dance moves are so amazing.

Her geisha ideas were out of the world

as she showed how it was to be a girl.

Tong Zhen’s the scary female ghost

whom the guys fear the most.

A headlamp is just all she needs

to make you incapable of holding in your pee.

Talking about bladder control,

makes me think of a specific bro.

One that urinates anytime anywhere ,

it’s no other but Chin Ken.

Brenda oozes creativity

as she helped with all the lyrics

for our performance at SP night

and the cheer of OSAR fight.

We have future teacher Mars

who shines brightly amongst the stars.

She cooks a mean meal, definitely a steal,

you wouldn’t believe it’s even real.

Weiwen can’t figure out whatsapp,

but still make an awesome cat

His bravery is commendable

as he’s the first to make the proposal.

Eunice is so kei jua

2 numbers to add, damn extra.

Yet her activeness we need to thank.

Without her, FB group would’ve been a blank.

Miss Taka Melor Ayumi Nipple Saki

belonged to dear Frankie.

He discovered himself through inks of markers

and balloons and lipstick and powder.

Magician Jocelyn's amazing,

disappeared mysteriously after cycling.

She apeared again on the 5th day

when we found out who was the fake.

Argh! That asshole Hong Xun

didn’t even give us a hint.

Fooled us bad with his great acting skills.

Oh how betrayed we feel-ed!

And so we were left with thirteen,

that is when you include me.

A bunch of isanities, all gaining notoriety

but still a close OSAR freshie family.

Deafening silence

From a mother's diary about her deaf child

Tick tock. Tick tock ring.
Ring. Riinng. Riiinnng!
Yawn. Splitting headache.
Riiiinnnng! I jump to my feet,
Rub my eyes and wipe the
wetness on the ends of my gown.
Birds are chirping outside, mocking
me; mocking her and her lack of sound.

She sleeps peacefully beside,
a smile on her face.
I use one so often, it's a tool
just a hand stretch away.
I stroke her hair and carcass her cheek.
I smell her scent; she smells
like the soap I use. I listen to her
breathing, as sweet as church bells.

She used to be special, not abnormal, until
her certified protector went insane.
My ring represented his promises but
now embodies her suffering and my pain.
I regret the first push that gave her
life. I regret the final push that took
it. Her piercing scream; her last word
eloped with my ability to look
through dry eyes. Sniff.

I snapped out of my daze. Riiinnng!
A myriad of noises all around me.
Yet, her silence is most deafening.