Missing the feeling of hating love

I have always been skeptical about many things.
Skeptical of this, skeptical of that,
yet until now, I still do not know what skeptical really means.

Recall the endeavors behind my moon;
every struggle so fancifully dined,
cocktails of poison so carefully concocted.
But I survived.

I survived by making myself survive.
The power all in my hands
to crush everything in my way-
(who am I kidding?)

I was never in favor.
Of jealousy and envy andof pure dislike.
But I knew I was the middle class,
I was adroit.
And the cherry on the sundae,
was the love of young boys' hearts
Devoured!
Leaving only the branched skeleton.

Similarly now, but
I am on the other side.
Never liked love still,
Never loved one.
Full of envy and jealousy,
still disliked, yet as clever as a mad cow eating mead.
Self pity is ambivalent.

The pleasure of seeing a young boy's heart served
never appeared recent,
till here.
Why don’t I love one?
Why does it not skip a beat for any?
Conscience,
never thought I had it,
dug its way out of grounds to me.
Can’t slap a heart off the platter and smear it with feetsweat anymore.

I am no longer up there on the throne.
Just a lonely peasant,
feeling sad to say no
to a farmer's boy.

Life

its all about keeping your hopes and dreams alive
through love and pain; laughter and cries
holding onto faiths when dealing with reality
making new friends, embracing love and family

dont know why im writing this poem
guess i was bored from reading top woman
the thought struck my head while i was lying on my bed
and thus i decided that i should create

to talk about life and all its misgivings
all the great things which education is missing
all the set backs which we have to take
all the hard decisions which we have to make

but to just say this is an understatement
dont you remember the great big agreement?
that for every sucky thing, there will be one awesome
for every delicious, there will be one grossome

so with obstacles, there will be friends
whose helping hands would be glad lend
and family who will be there always
supporting through night and encouraging through day

so there's nothing to fear when facing life
no need to retreat, be angry or sigh
so stand up straight and aim for mars
shine down the spotlight and you're a superstar