Long long time ago,
In a land filled with mould.
There was a crazy king,
Who loved disgusting things.
All women around the world,
Would want to be his girl.
So they had a race,
For a most disgusting face.
The winner was obvious,
As her face was obnoxious.
Before the race had start,
She had begun to fart.
She had eyes that rot,
And her face filled with dots.
A stupid crooked nose,
Just like a bent hose.
Horrible terrible hair,
With bubblegum stuck there.
A mole on her cheek,
She was a total freak.
In the whole contest,
She was the best,
But somewhere far away,
There’s a girl who was born that day.
She is cute,
And is definitely a beau.
But as she grew,
Her face turned new.
When she was born,
On that fateful morn.
Her body was so white,
Just like the light.
All because of that,
And as she was fat.
Snow white became her name,
And being ugly was her game.
Every single day,
Since the new queen became,
Queenie would look into the mirror,
And ask who’s the ugliest girl.
The mirror would then reply,
That it’s her and it wouldn’t lie.
Queenie would then be satisfied,
Until one day her smile died.
When she asked the mirror,
Who’s the ugliest girl.
It replied,
That it’s Snow White.
Queenie thought it lied and flare,
But again knew it wouldn’t dare.
So Queenie thought up of a plan,
Which needed one strong hunting-man.
The queen knew what it said was true,
So she gave the hunter three days due.
To cut up Snow White’s ugly chest,
Take the heart and leave the rest.
The hunter then took his gun,
And said, “I’m going to have a lot of fun!”
But when he saw Snow White’s revolting face,
Became scared and ran away.
The hunter ran back to his room,
Sat there and cried, “Oh no I’m doomed!”
Just then a little deer walked past,
“Okay, this time it’s a must!”
He shot the small deer with his gun,
“Now I really have to run!”
He took the bloody heart to the queen,
Queenie saw it and started to beam.
The queen announced that Snow White died.
Before the heart was taken to be fried.
The horrible news spreaded fast,
And Snow White knew it before much time past.
So she ran away to hide,
In a cottage of sumos five.
One named angry and one named naughty,
One sad, one funny and one crazy.”
“Oh my, this cottage is neat and tidy!
It will be bad if the king sees it!
What should I do?” she frowned,
So she wreaked the whole house upside down.
The sumos heard about her plight,
And let little Snow White stay overnight.
Everyday Snow White would live with them,
And turn their house into an unpolished gem.
Their house is filled with smiles and laughter,
This wouldn’t happen without her.
But in Queenie’s chamber things weren’t the same,
Where the mighty queen with her power and fame.
Asked the mirror who is the worst,
And the reply was Snow White’s the ugliest.
“But Snow White is dead! She argued back,
And gave her mirror a big wide smack.
“Oh no my queen you’ve got it wrong,
Snow White is not dead at all.
She lives in a cottage with sumos five,
The one surrounded with loads of beehives.”
Queenie was all filled with fury,
Because she though Snow White’s dead already.
So she asked for the hunter and cut him up,
Then poured poison on his body parts.
Then dressed like an old lady stomping in rage, she went all the way to the sumos cottage.
“Hi!” said Snow White to the little old lady,
Not knowing it’s the evil Queenie.
“After all that walking, I am so thirsty,
But the fact is I have no money.”
“I can see that your face is pink,
Okay I will give you a drink.”
“Although for you I have no tarts,
So in return I’ll give you some body parts.
Do you want some human foot?”
“Yumm… It tastes like Chinese food!”
“What about the hairs on it?”
“Hmm… It tastes like spaghetti.”
“The small intestine filled with fleas?”
“Yummy but it tastes like bees.”
“Do you want a reddish heart?
The one that is filled with blood?”
“With veins and capillaries?”
“Yup not forgetting arteries!”
So with bite and with a crunch,
Soon all the body parts were munched.
But in the throat one bit got stuck,
The one with lots of saliva, yuck!
Gasping for air,
Snow White fell into despair.
As to the palace the queen head,
“Ha-ha you are going to be dead!”
When the sumos finished their fight,
They went back home and turned on the light.
Seeing that Snow White’s dead,
The sumos cried and cried and cried.
When the king knew about this,
He wanted to save this crisis.
So he kissed her on the cheek,
Not knowing that his mouth reeked.
So he did it and Snow White screamed,
“What did you eat? Onion ice-creamed?”
But when she screamed, not knowingly,
Out dropped the little bit.
“Oh I saved you, ha-ha hehe!
Now would you marry me?”
So with a smile on her face,
“Yes, because it’s me you saved.
But I don’t want to be a concubine.”
“That’s it? Don’t worry everything’s fine.”
So he kicked Queenie out the castle,
And Snow White and him lived happily ever after.
