The escaped puppet and the entrapped rat

I stare into the window and saw you,
little lab rat. You were in a little cage,
eating your food with your little hands.
You had no concern for the rest of the world;
you probably have never seen the world.
Cherish your ignorance and you’d probably
be famous like I was. My strings gave me rope
burns as the audience cheered whenever I
bowed unwillingly. Now I am just a runaway
puppet, wishing to be controlled once again.
Do not cut off your strings ever.
Decisions are hard and independence is not
worth what you experience in the outside world.

I see you staring at me through the window
and I am envious. Your strings were cut
and you could roam free by yourself.
You could choose to do anything in the world;
you probably could do everything in the world.
Cherish your freedom and you’d probably
never be manipulated like me. I’m fed good
food as the scientists cheered whenever I
succeeded unknowingly. Now I am just a trapped
pet, wishing to be free once again.
Peel open that sunflower seed and reveal the grain.
Compliance is hard and dependence is not
worth what you endure in confinement.

Eating

Your spit coated my face
just the way I like it.
Closing my eyes, I savor every moment.
A smirk. “Darling, I know what you ate for breakfast.”
Our traditional snake dance.
Slobber. More slobber. I love it.
There’s no awkwardness between us,
only heat from friction between our breaths
and heat from the frictionless relationship we share.
“You take my breath away, Honey.”
Our cooperation is seamless-
you follow my lead and I… “Dearie, more tongue.”
I love the taste of your lip gloss.
Strawberry is the sexiest chemical ever made-
a genius’s work that keeps me going and going and going.
and your perfume, your pheromone, my addiction.

I open my eyes to capture this magical frame:
the old man with the disapproving eyes;
the married couple with their green eyes;
and the children whose eyes were prohibited from such a sight.
That’s right. You are going to be traumatized tonight
and the next day and the next. That’s right. It shall consume
you like how she consumes me whole.

You cant get your pigtails back

The pigtails strutted across the hall alone.
A walking temptation.
She faced sneers from other girls,

putting her down. She felt inferior.
Yet, she fought the pressure with tears in her eyes
until she caved in one day and

the sneers stopped.

She bled and teared on the bed where
the boy, paid for his service, lay.

She lost her pigtails in the mess.
She strutted down the hall
with the other girls.

As she sneered at other pigtails,
she could sense them sneering back,
putting her down. She was superior but inferior.

With tears in her eyes,
she knew her innocence was gone forever
once the other girls penetrated her life.

Toy

I know I said no before,

it is still a no now.

I look at you, I don't adore

but confused about what why how.

You said you are good for me,

that I do not deny.

But I just cant seem to say yes, you see,

unless I'm sure you're the right guy.

This is against the feelings inside

but I'm conscious I'm flirting back.

I know the same feelings, you're trying to hide.

Self-control, evident, is what I lack.

I still don't feel the way you do,

maybe love for a little brother.

You're pretending you feel this too

when its obvious I'm no sister.

But let's continue this pretence.

It's much more amusing than I thought.

Yea, it's against all common sense

but it makes us both happy, does it not?

Okay, may be it's only me

cause it's flattering and a hell lot of fun.

And if you think its too high a fee,

I suggest you'd better run.

Stupid Pig. Fat cow. Mute girl.

Move away from me.

Don't ask, just do,

for all the bruises, self-inflicted,

were instigated by you.

Do not get down on your knees

and beg forgiveness once again

and please do not insult me to the floor

screaming and wailing in pain.

No one has to go through agony.

You can leave with your head high.

But, do not patronise me, praise or pretend

that you were truthful for all your lies.

Your word gripping tightly onto my key

as i spotted, in your eye, a tear.

The locksmith approaches, tools and all.

My eye; your eye, a mirror.

i thought it was not possible

but i'm already dead inside.

Stupid Pig. Fat cow. Mute girl.

"Fuck off my life"

Awry

I really miss your love

but you said that i was mean;

the bully, the tyrant of your life,

the worst you've ever seen.

I kicked you in the face

and rubbed sea salt on your wounds.

Not only extinguished the fire of your sun

but also destroyed your moon.

I sneered at my own happiness,

making your stomach churn

so you went off again and

I burned.

I looked at the space where you were gone

and wondered how things could've been so wrong.

Connecting stones

Holding your little stone,
our names engraved with a sharp knife,
brought me back to our childhood life
at the edge of our pond, alone.

You taught me how to
make pebbles skip on water as you say
that you’ll swim like them one day
in an Olympic pool.

I cheered you on fanatically
as you trained hard against the clock
and brought home medals with a ring and a rock
and I nodded frantically.

A honeymoon in the ocean,
teasing, I pushed you down and down and down
until you could no longer make a sound
and ceased motion.

Now you lie underneath me
as I stare at the stone -half mine half yours-
tainted with wild grass but always pure,
it connects we.

Almighty You

Have you imagined yourself to be all mighty, ominous and immortal?
Believing that you would use your powers for good and not evil,
you denounce that “There shall be Peace!” No crimes. You’d stop them before they know it.
No needs. No food. No water. No sleep. No work. Peace is boring.

And so declare that if peace exists not, “there shall be justice!”
You promise punishment for the bad and you held that promise
until one day you realized you were having too much joy
in the reeducation of your unlawful toys.

You snap out of frame and rose from your bed,
leaving all your riches and fame at the back of your head.
‘Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.’
You smile as you think you’ve found meaning.

You rushed for paper to pen down your epiphany
and in doing so, made yourself immortal with total control of your writing.

You'll be fine

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.
You’ve been doing so well so far.”
They were assuring and envious, may be,
As they quietly race to be on par.

“Relax little dearie, you’ll be fine.
You’ll get to where you want to be.”
He was calming and firm and certain,
But only if my goal I can see.

“Don’t stress my darling, you’ll be fine.
You’re sure to work to your aim.”
They were supportive and comforting, always,
Yet may not fully comprehend my pain.

I know I’d be fine. I’ll definitely get there.
I’ll be on my heels, I’ll run.
I’ll take all your advice- goal, plan, work!
It is easier said than done.

No, dear

Look. Look into my eyes.
Do you see it?
No? Look deeper.
Your answer’s there.

Look through the façade, but
do not destroy it.
It is essential to make
others think that I care.

Can you see it now?
It is crystal clear.
Flooding? They are not mine,
but your tears.

Buck up some courage and
face it. The answer is no.
It was, it is and it will
forever be, no dear.

Goodnight, my child.

One round, two.
Bubbles. Water.
Swimming.
One round, two.
My lovely three second brain.

Weird white creatures.
Big eyes that blink.
Tails that split.
Weird white creatures.
They experimented on me.

They took me out of water,
Measured my length,
Weighed my mass,
Without letting me catch my breath,
Until I could breathe in dry ‘water’.

They fed me GoodFoodAnd I turned purple.
They injected me with some fluid
And I returned back to normal
With an extra hand with toes.

They operated on me
And altered my neurons.
Global warming is currently an issue.
Everyone needs to do their part to make a change.
What am I doing in all these H2O?

When my parents went back home and the lights were off,
I stared at a blank wall as hard as I could with my lidless eyes
Counting out loud one two three, one two three, one two three,
One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three, one two three.
“Is my nightmare over?”

That little voice

You need to move out now.
I’m sorry for the late notice.
I’ll remember the good times we had,
and the bad times will be chucked aside.
But you need to move out now.

There is no point in crying
or asking for the reasons.
There isn’t any other choice.
So please turn around, do us a favour
and get away from me.

You need to move out immediately.
Your stuff will be mailed to you.
We’ve know each other for so long,
you are practically me.
We wear the same clothes everyday.
We look perfectly identical.
I’ve always listened to your preaching-
You need to move out now.

Please promise to get somewhere safe,
preferably far away.
You need to move out now, so
please close the door on the way out
of my life.

My Teacher's Pen

It sailed across her cheek.
A massive cruise throbbed with the waves
in the sea of flush; blush and the rush
of adrenaline set her ablaze.

Firemen came, leaving trailes of red.
Tears to the rescue! Put out the heat.
Smoke fogged up the sight; light and the tight
muscles caused wrinkles. Iron them neat.

She withers away from reality,
entrapped herself in lines of art;
in a new world driven by wind; gin and the sin
took over the power of her heart.

Seeing Her Future

It was a party in that room.
The male guests never stopped coming
There were females too:
One bound to the bed, frightened,
Another at a corner- sitting.

The guys prowled, dirtied the sheets
And protected her like how her clothes did.
They came in large packs.
She fought hard, the bed screamed.
The other at a corner- sitting and watching.

The last guest arrived and the party ceased.
He scoured the room. He was hungry.
She was a greasy smoked chicken, well-done.
Smiling, an appetite was worked up.
The other at a corner- sitting, watching and crying.

They left the party house
With their tails between their legs.
He had fun, she had trauma, she struggled
He finished the job.
The other at a corner- sitting, watching, crying and next
In line.

Burying is hard

i felt so cold from within when the temperature was 30 degrees outside.

felt so empty in a crowded room, there wasn't you in sight.

i saw passed you, i was tra-nspa-rent, a fragment of my ima gin ati on.

i opened my mou-th to make a noise, halted by hes tit at ion.

there you were, moving on, i thought i did so too.

it was a colouful day, a vibrant one, but now its turning blue.

i drifted off into the world of electronics, while you were entrapped in another.

where was the earth, the land, the air, my friend, my buddy, my brother?

i could see your shape and you could see mine but substance was my doubt.

the frown carefully kept by a giggle, a smile, a pout.

i forced it down deep deep deep, the unknown tension has to cease cease cease.

i am on my knees begging myself to bury the hatchet please please please.

Gems

You see them across the playroom.
Tiny fat lumps playing with round balls,
Innocence shone through their eyes like diamonds.
Grotesque.
You see them across the classroom.
Pearls sprouting on their faces- a fashion statement.
Gel coated heads reflected light.
Magical.

You see him across the living room.
That gold plated neck now yours.
You steel knife harvested his inner ruby.
His headlights off.
Your appetite finally satisfied.
Smile.

I need a blender

yes yes! put everything in.
a good mix of life is the perfect drink.
a dash of spice and a whole load of brains
and those little pills to take away the pain.
dew drop tears and volcanic lava,
prom night desses with crystal tiaras.
flowers with mud, bushes with torns,
angels with halos, and movie popcorn.
throw my friends in and family too,
my bed, my pets and even my school.
turn on a switch and get me a glass
and call 911 just in case i pass.

SYF 2011

You look ahead and see your mother.
Daddy is holding onto your waist,
Clutching it as if he meant to choke you.
Uncomfortable feeling. You shake to break loose.

You inch your way forward, alone.
You fear of falling down. You raise
Your arms for balance. Eyes focused on mama.
You inch your way forward, alone.

You hear the encouragements slowly die down.
People gossip behind you, putting you down,
Talking about how slow you are.
Your siblings are afraid you bring down the family name.

You persevered and fought on.
Tears dripped and music came out from your mouth.
And when you reach out for mummy,
Your aunt picks you up and everyone cheers.

Visiting guilt

I tucked you in. And on Thursday night,
When I come by, I will kiss you by the cheek.
You will take my coat and we will sit for tea.
I eat the cake you serve and feel it nourish every part of me.

We will chat about my old times.
Awkwardness whirls round the room
Like the rush I got when I was an adolescent.
A cup of coffee will get rid of it. A cup of coffee always does.

“Two cubes please.” It masks the bitterness.
I wipe the last few drops off my lips
And before you could converse,
I will stand up, check my hair and be ready to bid you farewell.

Then, you will kiss me by the cheek,
Sending shivers down my spine.
I will pick up my coat,
Once again forgetting to whisper, in your ear, “I’m sorry.”

My eyes saw your tears

I think I may have said too much.
My lips spat crimson red from his arm.
As though miming in a glass box,
His silent cries resonated in my head
Tear by tear by tear by… I fell down.
Guys. Hard, but fragile;
Armored, but not impermeable;
Resolute, but huMAN.
May be it was the unreachable badge,
Or the key at hand.
But I felt my tongue slice through you.

Caged

I woke up to a peanut at my face.
Breakfast! I thought, what kind souls.
Soon the peanut disappears into a sea of acid,
My sea of acid.

I looked around to a world of bright light and smiles.
A positive change from where I laid my head before.
Showered with more alarm clocks, I was god.
With a twitch of my fingers and a gulp,
The faces, oddly differing in shapes, cheered.

I was satisfied with their prayers.
With offerings in hand, I ordered
For the peanuts to fly to my subjects.
They scurried away. The same spider-webbed look.

I reached out but the massive metal monster separates the holy
From the despised.
Sad little creatures. No freedom. All being dressed.
All caged up.

In hot soup

I never liked mum’s tomato soup.
A sea of red, misplaced from a teacher’s pen,
Served hot on cruel white china.
With every gulp, the chilies stinging sensation
Cheats off the faint smell of cinnamon.
Steam blurs the vision but still the taste of
Pepper’s prominent under the confusion of ingredients.
Desperate for a cup of water.

Still in clothes with a tie and crest,
Your neck rolls down cold sweat
Just as mother’s eyes do as she slices the onion.
Scream. Mother cuts her beating finger and my blood dripped.
My head bows down lower silently.
I find myself swimming in mum’s soup.

will i ever get there

am in the middle of the ocean
surrounded by overbearing waves
i see my destination ahead
just a wet graveyard away.

i screamed in my head
i pictured the smiles shinning soaked
raised my arms and sank
not trying to stay afloat

We Rock! We Love! We 27!

Once upon a time,
There was, in NJ, OG27.
It had awesome OGLs-
Agnes, Rachel, Edward, Darren!

Of course, 4 wasn’t enough,
Needed orientees,
Especially those with super cool names
Like Maria Grazia Lee!

But Maria then felt lonely
And needed friends to play,
So she went to find Xinyao
Who gladly said, “OK!”

Then Swee Hwa came along
Bringing friends of four-
Samuel, Hui Jun, Malcolm
Not forgetting Vanisha Kishore!

So all of them had fun together
Until they heard 2 voices singing.
Looked around, searched high and low,
Only to find Kang Jie and Cara Li Yi Ting!

Now 8 girls here with 5 boys there
The OG’s growing strong!
But the more the merrier, come on in
The cheerful Priscilla Khong!

They played games that were fun TTM-
Watermelon, double wacko.
So thick skin they were, included themselves
Were Hong Yi, Yee Cheng and Derek Goh.

Hey, bear with me, the poem’s ending,
How impatient you guys are!
I won’t compromise writing about
The cute bubbly Nadiah!

Then suddenly, oh gasp shock horror!
A figure appeared out of the blue.
Is it an alien? A monster with claws?
No it’s worse! It’s Lim Han Chun!

“Never fear! Kevin is here!”
As he restrained Han Chun with a hug.
But Kangxin saw it, got really jealous
Cause HC broke his heart.

So what to do? A love triangle!
What a mess this is!
So little cupid, Yuan Yijia,
Solved it with a kiss!
(On whom? I let you guys decide.)

Then everyone became crazy
And started loving each other.
But it was ok, I think, I guess
Cause they all lived happily ever after!

Preying

i could feel the heat behind me shooting down
as my bald head reflected light like the stars.
my eyes, as sharp as my beak, scoured
as i hovered above what was once alive.
stubbornly refusing to remove myself,
i smiled when i saw, from the corner,
new meat.

For you, me and another

It’s funny how I say I’m immune
When my heart beats out of fear
And my mind goes completely bonkers
When you step any feet near.
I can feel my legs shaking
And my hairs standing on ends
But yet "none, no feelings for you"
Even I can't comprehend.

Speechless, when staring in your eyes
So I try to look away.
Cause I know if they stayed glued onto,
An arrow of terror will shoot into me and a dagger
Not far, in another's heart, lay.

I'm cool

sometimes i feel you make me crazy,
clouding my mind, fogging, hazy.
you turn the corner, but my eyes follow you
then i turn away, just to seem cool.

you aint suppose to be here, at least not right now
for the wrong reasons, my heart always pounds.
im acting! to show you that im better off,
yet you dont pay any more attention than a child to a moth.

kazoom! away! you shall disappear!
i'll try spells, witchcraft, anything! to diminish this fear.
i want you gone, distant from me, somewhere far away
and i dont ever want to find you again any other day.

you're not important, i dont need you. go away from me
i am happy. im living well. oh, cant you see?
you turn the corner, but still my eyes follow you
then i turn away, just to make me seem cool.

2011

it's 2011 already,
so i thought i'd pen down some words.
damn, it's A level year. it's time to study;
time to start acting like a nerd.

a new year, a new begining
forget about the past
got to think ahead, embrace the present
cause time flies really fast

don't know how i'm so grown up now
when i'm still a small kid inside
problems to face, more stress to take
need my blankie to hide

no no no. i wont escape
running away wont help
going to unleash my strength, my burning passions
yes, the difficulties, you shall melt

ok, let, not get a head of ourselves
and forget about reality
but, seriously, not kidding at all
i will triumph this time, i've got a feeling