Foreign

It's squirming in my tummy.

Revolting little brat!

I clobber it with fists of fury

to remove the regret.

The constant reminder of his face

resides deep inside.

It sickens me that his residue, his waste

is filling me tight.

What was I thinking?

My brain clearly on a break

and it took over with speed of lightning,

laughing at my sake.

A moment of carelessness, that

was it.

Our eyes, we met.

Church bells ring.

I punched it hard. Get out!

Get out!

The promises I vowed,

now doubt

but it’s all too late.

Its life; my life.

No time to wait.

I dive.

Like quicksand, it consumes me whole.

It screams in my ears; louder as it grows.

It clouds my head with unique frequencies.

Never such a phenomenon. What trickery is this?

If only I knew how to stop the love.

Bitch slapped

At first i was "alright"
And then I was "nehs"
But then I kept to my promise
And you bitch slapped me in the face.

Sure I don't need it now
It's not a life threatening want
But still I want you to want me
And besides, it's loads of fun.

But yea you turned me down
Two freaking times in fact
Once is embarrassing
But it piled up and stacked.

It's a bitch slap across my face
A bee sting on my dimple
Bear claw marks lay on my cheeks
As I began to whimper.

A sensitive beat root of a head
Pigmentation forming
Hot and searing from the centre
And tears streaming and pouring.

It was a bitch slap across my face.

"WE" was supposed to end later

I used to show off my emotions
whenever I deem fit
to let the others know
if I'm angry, sad or elate.
But this time it's different;
I'm keeping them to myself.
I'm bottling up my emotions
and leaving them on the shelf.

It's because of the embarrassment.
I don't want others to know
so they won't see the shame
that now I do own.
I've failed in this aspect
though it ain't all my fault.
But I can not be the bitch
So my mind's doing somersaults.
Cause you ain't some random one,
I picked up from elsewhere
but a sister of a dear friend
that's great beyond compare.

I can picture the image: the scene
of how it all went down;
your parents giving in
after seeing your slightest frown.
You pleading hard and whining.
Your parents on the couch
and they caved in to princess,
that I can vouch.
They said, "Send her a message
to inform her of this,"
and you ran happily to your room,
with your face gleaming bliss.

So you ended our relationship
with a simple text,
Blaming nothing of the universe
but saying it was stress.
You are bound to face it, honey,
whether you like it or not.
You are an adult taking examinations,
Not a baby in a cot.
It was taxing on me too-
your body full of medication
but it was certainly lacking in perseverance,
determination and dedication.

So we stopped our partnership
before it reached its term.
2 sessions more and probably,
this sadness I wouldn't learn.
Still, I'm glad it's over now
and best of luck to you.
I hope you buckle up real hard
before your time is due.

A Close OSAR Freshie Family

At first there were fourteen-

5 guys, 9 girls in a team.

All seemed normal, not the least bonkers,

oh god how wrong we were!

We had skit IC Vanessa,

the wushu warrior of OSAR.

Push her buttons if you dare,

but consequences alone you shall bear.

Michelle was great at packing

and, to others, apparently slacking.

But still she is, lucky as can be

to have been allocated Hall 3.

OSAR even had Sailormoon

as Greg popped out as a cartoon.

We laughed out loud to his demise

when his yue liang zao xia while he tried.

Charlene was ever cute and bubbly

Whose dance moves are so amazing.

Her geisha ideas were out of the world

as she showed how it was to be a girl.

Tong Zhen’s the scary female ghost

whom the guys fear the most.

A headlamp is just all she needs

to make you incapable of holding in your pee.

Talking about bladder control,

makes me think of a specific bro.

One that urinates anytime anywhere ,

it’s no other but Chin Ken.

Brenda oozes creativity

as she helped with all the lyrics

for our performance at SP night

and the cheer of OSAR fight.

We have future teacher Mars

who shines brightly amongst the stars.

She cooks a mean meal, definitely a steal,

you wouldn’t believe it’s even real.

Weiwen can’t figure out whatsapp,

but still make an awesome cat

His bravery is commendable

as he’s the first to make the proposal.

Eunice is so kei jua

2 numbers to add, damn extra.

Yet her activeness we need to thank.

Without her, FB group would’ve been a blank.

Miss Taka Melor Ayumi Nipple Saki

belonged to dear Frankie.

He discovered himself through inks of markers

and balloons and lipstick and powder.

Magician Jocelyn's amazing,

disappeared mysteriously after cycling.

She apeared again on the 5th day

when we found out who was the fake.

Argh! That asshole Hong Xun

didn’t even give us a hint.

Fooled us bad with his great acting skills.

Oh how betrayed we feel-ed!

And so we were left with thirteen,

that is when you include me.

A bunch of isanities, all gaining notoriety

but still a close OSAR freshie family.

Deafening silence

From a mother's diary about her deaf child

Tick tock. Tick tock ring.
Ring. Riinng. Riiinnng!
Yawn. Splitting headache.
Riiiinnnng! I jump to my feet,
Rub my eyes and wipe the
wetness on the ends of my gown.
Birds are chirping outside, mocking
me; mocking her and her lack of sound.

She sleeps peacefully beside,
a smile on her face.
I use one so often, it's a tool
just a hand stretch away.
I stroke her hair and carcass her cheek.
I smell her scent; she smells
like the soap I use. I listen to her
breathing, as sweet as church bells.

She used to be special, not abnormal, until
her certified protector went insane.
My ring represented his promises but
now embodies her suffering and my pain.
I regret the first push that gave her
life. I regret the final push that took
it. Her piercing scream; her last word
eloped with my ability to look
through dry eyes. Sniff.

I snapped out of my daze. Riiinnng!
A myriad of noises all around me.
Yet, her silence is most deafening.

Ball game with the king

I have been forgetful lately,
Forgetting what you said
And forgetting to apologize
For forgetting what you said.

So I'm here now to say I'm sorry,
But you didn't have to be so rude
To cut me off right in the middle,
Acting high, mighty and good.

So oh your majesty, please forgive me;
For all I have sinned.
Yet, please too explain to me
Why you made such a din.
For the solution was quite simple
And the problem did no harm
Unless, I'm guessing, you've got something to hide,
Or someone you didn't want to alarm.

But it ain't up to me to speculate
So I'm still here, Your Loftiness.
Yet I want to make it clear that
I'm no pushover, stateliness.
The game you play 's in my territory;
I am an expert at it.
And if you end up at the wrong side of the court,
I swear you'll concede defeat.

Perfect imperfections

There is something, I swear,

that is the size of a tic-tac.

Tiny. Real tiny, yet so powerful.

It overwhelms me and swallows

me whole as if I were nothing.

Nothing.

It wasn't supposed to hurt so bad.

It wasn't supposed to hurt at all.

But I was there and she was there.

They were there too and it happened.

The world enclosed and I was the

only one with the subtle screaming

of my heart as my hands caressed

the unique texture of my result

slip.

I had planned to be pleasantly surprised.

This was not expected. No.

"If only I had another A, I'd be

satisfied". Yea right. If I had

another A, I would have asked for

another. Now I'm left feeling beaten

down over something as small as

a tic-tac.

What am I going to do now? Dates are

passing without waiting for me. Cruel

cruel time. The independent being.

I do not want to diminish

the meaning and significance of the

Harikiri, but I feel as though I

somewhat understand how much

shame can influence you.

That much.

What I cannot comprehend is my

inability to let this go. Everything

seems so surreal. Not a dream

but a figment of my imagination.

It is coming across as if providence

doesn't exist.

This is ironic, I guess, since I'm

agnostic. I've never shied away

aggressively from religion. I believe

I've probably been waiting for

something that would convince me

totally. This isn't it.

But who am I kidding? I wouldn't

have been urged towards God

if I had done well either. I'm

in a mess.

I just wish someone would tell

me what to do, that is,

of course, in accordance to what

I want.

I know I am going against the

norm all because I am afraid.

I am afraid that I cannot make it

to the norm; that I cannot make it

in the norm; that I cannot make it

out of the norm.

And, I guess, what I really

fear is that I would be part of

the norm and un-special.

I didn't stand out this time

and so I need to rectify that

by coming back with something others do not have due to the

very fact that they were better

than me in this horrid play

of fate.

I have to go overseas and be

different. My parents do not

understand my burning need

to be apart from everyone.

The more my mum tells me about

being like the rest, the more

agitated I get by the fact that

I was going to end up as a

robot of this society.

Studying abroad gives me the

opportunity to be different from

the society there and allows me

to be differentiated from the

rest of the people that the

Singapore education system tries to

produce.

Looking at a self-portrait of myself

now. It is a little bit deformed, due to

my lack of artistic- genius genes,

and it looks a tat bit abstract.

The fake smile; the sad eyes.

The nose looks perfect though.

As a whole, that picture is indeed,

perfect.

That's what I need to be now.

I am a little bit disoriented, I admit.

However, I need to put on a smile

to hide my crying emotions and

carry on with life. I'll let my

nose lead the way; make the

necessary decisions now and

wait for the next miracle to happen.

Sims- lacking control

Ctrl alt del. The whole world pauses.

I stare into blank space and time just freezes.

Well, my time at least. the numbers in the bottom

Right hand corner are still jumping. But I froze.

It was so awkward. He was just standing in front

Of me in my apartment, after watering my plants in my garden,

And I had just woke up from my power nap.

He was so close to me. Blue eyes, sharp nose, jet black hair.

I know man was created before women but I have this gut feeling

That he was modeled after me. I see the dirt on him.

He needs a shower. And I, needed to pee.

I see him staring at me too. He was either too captivated by my sexy outfit

Or was paused that way.

Play. I could finally feel my limbs again.

But I had hardly any control over it as I throw myself

Upon his filthy body again and again and again

Until my relationship status leveled up. That was when I realized

We were a couple. I then put on my happy face as I went out to pat my dog

And he went to the bathroom for a good wash.

I trapped a me

Damn it. You're such a troll,

Playing with my mind. Poking it

With a stick. Filling it with unbalanced sweet silver and gold.

Ugh, you're annoying, omniscient

and pleasant. You boil me in a broth,

Light up the fire; the heat and warmth

And I burn.

What trickery is this? I wish

To learn. So as to do to you what

You did to me- the nicer you are to my heart

the more I feel pain and anguish.

I'm holding onto the one thing I

Still could, though it's eating me alive,

Until you present yourself first, as smth I could chose to buy

And call this possession proudly mine.

Till then, I'm trapped in a cage I set

And everyday, I increase how much I regret.

My path

Move aside and get out of my way.
I don't need you guys to destroy my day.
This is my life. I make the decisions.
Stop experimenting on me; stop making incisions.
You have the best in mind, but that ain't an action plan.
I know what I want; I do what I like with my own feet and hands.
Yes, you gave them to me. I'm grateful to you.
But a gift, once given, can't be returned. You know the rule.
So stop interfering. You ain't know nothing.
My mind is a secret. You're not allowed near it.
Maybe one day you'll learn what ears are for.
You've spoken so much while my words you ignore.
I am still vibrant. I want to see the world.
I'm not an old lady or still a five year old girl.
You've got to understand that I have been trying.
So stop budging in and leaving my crying.
These tears just make me stronger and I'll show you I can live.
I have my own list of chores I promise to finish before I leave.
Patience is a virtue. All I'm asking is for you to wait.
When I come back here, believe me, soaring is what you shall spectate!